| New Recruits | Coaches Duggan and Zukowski are proud to announce that the Krusty Bananas have acquired a number of strong recruits for this summer. Sir Thomas Kolb (Wantagh, NY) has experience at both the varsity and club levels, making him a well-rounded player who offers great promise to the Banana Dynasty. Dr. Paul Duggan (Wantagh, NY) was on the Wantagh High School varsity lacrosse team, but was screwed over by obnoxious smurf John Cuiffo. He proved himself as a collegiate all-star, however, competing at Wingate and Notre Dame de Namur. His great height and all-seeing brown eye will undoubtedly help lead the Bananas to the championship rings in 2008. Marc Pierre Louis (Freeport, NY) is Mike Hinchy's friend. Judging by his facebook profile and a sixth sense about talented athletes, Coach Zukowski believes that Louis is both a genius and a skilled lacrosse player. He plays for Nassau Community College, who won the 2008 JUCO championship. The Krusty B's look to Louis with hope as the first game approaches. Pj Nunez (New York, NY) hails from Dowling. He was introduced to the team by one of last year's stand-out recruits, Ernie Constantine. If Nunez is what the coaches think he is, there's gonna be some freaky magic made at Cantiague Park this summer. Ryan Blackmore (Wantagh, NY) played for Wantagh High School and will be continuing his career this fall at Catawba College in North Carolina. Blackmore will mess you up and then steal your girls. Anthony Biscardi (Wantagh, NY) is a lefty. That's all you need to know about him. He's going to UMASS and he's a lefty. Steve Tonn (Wantagh, NY) is a complete enigma. He's just all over the place. Nobody really knows who he is. Some, perhaps have seen him, but did any of them live to tell about it? Facebook reports that he will be attending SUNY Maritime in the fall, but who really knows. Billy Miller (Wantagh, NY) is a nutjob, and this trait will perhaps be the greatest contribution made to the Bananas this season. He is an all-star soccer player, a top-notch wrestler, and a fine lacrosse player. Billayyyy. Nick Mancuso (East Meadow, NY) recently graduated from the prestigious NCC, and will continue his education at Limestone. He claims to be "Hinchy's boy," which leaves coaches Duggan and Zukowski thinking that he's an absolute psycho who will probably eat the other team alive (literally...like a cannibal). There are still other prospective recruits who are yet uncommitted. Once they sign, their info will be posted. |
Steroid Usage in CSLL (Cantiague Summer League Lacrosse): |
Steroid use is strictly prohibited by the CSLL, and is against the honor code of the Krusty Bananas team. Investigations this summer led to the discovery that teammate Pete Desiderio was a long-time steroid user: According to the August 2007 edition of US SUMMER ATHLETICS, "Krusty Bananas attackman Peter 'Meatball' Desiderio tested positive for steroid use late this July. A recent report from the Cantiague Lacrosse Headquarters in Bethpage (NY) stated that a player in the league had tested positive for steroid use, although no names were released. Upon the application of common sense, however, the media immediately realized that Desiderio was the only athlete who was so abnormally large and unproportionally muscular. Coaches Duggan and Zukowski declined to comment, but their team spokesperson, a shady old man named Big Jerry, later commented that Desiderio was in fact a huge roid-head. League President John Pappas has placed Desiderio in suspension until he graduates from Nassau Community College, a sentence at which the overdeveloped Desiderio scoffed, issuing a statement that will not be reprinted due to its vulgarity. Rusty the dog is on permanent watch at the Desiderio mansion to keep reporters at bay." |
| Summer 2008 Schedule: | The schedule has not yet been released, but games are expected to run from the week of June 20 until the week of August 13. |
| Jerseys: |
We're getting a package of t-shirts, jerseys, and shorts, which will probably be sponsored by Johnny Malone's on Wantagh Avenue. |
